14/08/2024
Dr Rebecca Johnson
There are times when the events in the news can cause children to have lots of questions about what’s going on in the outside world, beyond their front door.
As parents, we instinctively want to protect our children from harm or upset which can make having these conversations feel really tricky to handle. But it’s important that we do talk about them if our children ask us so that we can support them to process what are often big feelings for them, however old they are, and for us too.
Giving your child the time to express themselves and help them name those feelings and unpack them with them can really help. For example, saying something like: ‘I wonder if you might be feeling…’ or ‘It’s totally understandable that you’re feeling worried, scared, confused’. ‘Where do you feel that feeling in your body? Does your tummy hurt? Does your heart beat faster?’
Just listening and showing that you understand is in itself so powerful. You can even feed back to them their own thoughts and share any guesses you have about their feelings because doing this in chunks can make the thoughts and emotions feel more manageable.
You will be able to choose what to say and how to say it once you’ve taken the time to be curious about and understand what is going on in their mind. This is the moment to share your experience, your pearls of wisdom, if you feel that would be helpful.
There are always people willing to help and drawing attention to these in news items can offer some balance to the idea, the reality, that terrible things happen. The world is full of kindness too, even if it doesn’t seem that way, if you just look for it.
So model being curious, observant and even unsure – taking the time to think things through from different viewpoints.
It’s not a good idea to use these conversations with your child to unburden yourself. As a parent, you may also need support – containment – when things scare or upset you in the news, so it is important to have close friends or family members that you feel comfortable turning to to explore your own thoughts and worries.
Addressing what your child may be feeling instead of avoiding these conversations or minimizing them can help them develop into emotionally healthy adults and builds their resilience throughout life. For more information and ideas on how to support your family’s emotional health, our online courses at inourplace are available online 24/7.
If you feel you have been impacted by the events unfolding around the UK over the past few weeks, it is important to know there are places to seek support.
Our online course for adults, Understanding your own trauma, is a useful tool for recognising, understanding and processing trauma. With 10 modules, covering topics from what we mean by ‘trauma’ to understanding our own feelings to recovery from trauma, it is accessible 24/7 on inourplace.
Our course voiceover means you have the option to learn by reading or listening to suit your preferred learning style. And with the benefits of being online, you can learn at a pace that suits you, in the privacy of your own home.
Consultant Clinical Psychologist, Solihull Approach Development Manager
For media enquiries, please contact Samantha Williams, Head of Marketing and Communications, samantha.williams@uhb.nhs.uk | +44(0)7500817702
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